jokes are funny

Let-It-Rain-Finding-Gratitude-in-Grief

jokes are funny

it’s been fourteen years since you died.
it’s taken that long for me to grieve.
i couldn’t.
it wasn’t safe.

it’s been fourteen years since i last saw you.
i miss you.
i love you.

it’s been fourteen years and three more lovers.
i’m finally free.
i remember.

i remember you:
funny, smart, brave
and so badly hurt,
so scared.
scared for your son most of all.
you loved him more than anyone,
more than your own life.
i wanted to help you,
and to help you protect him
it hurt me that i could do so little
often i could only witness your own pain
as you were powerless to protect your beloved son

it’s been fourteen years
we both escaped the trap they made for us
we loved each other the best we could
i was wrong, though.
it was a tragedy,
not a joke.
jokes are funny.

i am sad, remembering it all.
also knowing that now
your son has to figure it out for himself, too.
it hasn’t stopped.
the abuse keeps on, generation after generation.
no, it hasn’t stopped.
it’s got to stop.

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