notes and updates on my life is a *trigger warning* – zine, blog relaunch

hello readers!

thank you for taking the time to read my blog!  so far stones and sticks and words has been visited almost 1000 times.  although this is a tiny number when compared to the population of, say, north america, it is a start.

there is so little known about ritual abuse, that even getting people familiar with the term is important, and raising awareness about what ritual abuse consists of, is even more important. 

i want to thank every one of you for taking the time to learn about ritual abuse, and i encourage you all to seek out other sources, other people’s stories and analyses.  and, of course, I’m going to keep writing, too, but more about that below.

even more important than raising awareness about ritual abuse is ending ritual abuse.  raising awareness is a must in working towards stopping ritual abuse from happening, but let’s always be clear that education, as valuable as it is, is only part of the work that is necessary to protect children from being ritually abused, putting an end to organized abuse and cults, and, more broadly, ending child abuse, full stop.

personally, I have been working with my lawyer and my counselor to get the children’s aid society (and I certainly have criticisms of CAS, but they are the state agency that is mandated to protect children) to take action to prevent children being abused.

the reason that I have not attempted to pursue criminal charges on cult members is that the current legal precedent in canada is not good.  the one case that I know of resulted in a years long investigation, but, finally, the crown attorney and the social workers who brought the charges forward were charged with malicious prosecution.  the only other similar case was a public inquiry in cornwall, but this also did not lead to any criminal charges being laid.  neither of these cases led to any children being protected, or to stopping any ritual abuse.

i don’t currently have any other ideas of how to go after the cult I was born into, and/or other organizations that engage in ritual abuse in a strategic and effective manner.  however, i am clear that this is my goal, and i continue to think about what needs to be done.  If you have any suggestions about what might be done, you can contact me at:


i am writing this note and update to let you all know that despite the pro-advice i got for blogging (advice which seems to be entirely correct), i’m not able to post every 2 – 3 days, and i will be aiming for every 7 – 10 days, at least for the next few months.

the reasons for this are:

a)      writing a new, relevant, interesting and well-written blog post every 2 – 3 days is a fuck load of work, especially when it is about ritual abuse, as it is also emotional exhausting.

b)      i am still in my own, quite intense, healing process, and additional stresses, even the self-imposed stress of writing and posting blogs, frays my mental health, making it that much more likely that I will experience various set backs – healing is what is most important for me now, and my priority has to be self-care.

also, after putting too much pressure on myself for several weeks (blogging, activism, and, well, life), i have decided to change plans.  

i am going to continue to blog as regularly as i can, without putting much pressure on myself, and i am going to work towards producing a zine from the blog posts i have already completed, and the blog posts i will be writing.  I’m also going to use the next few months to complete other material for my blog post, so that I have collection of writing that I can post and I do not need to be constantly writing my next blog post.

my proposed zine (based on current posts, and upcoming posts) :

my life is a *trigger warning*

notes on surviving ritual abuse

table of contents:

a happy family – completed

wake up! You can’t remember who you are! – completed

remembering – completed

forgetting – completed

sanity is the opposite of normality – completed

diagnosis and analysis: the personal is poltical

a brief, vague and incomplete description of a satanic cult – completed

a day in the life of a ritual abuse survivor – next

wherever you go, there you are – upcoming

dating a cultist – upcoming – upcoming

abducted, raped and tortured by the Spanish police – upcoming

dating a non-cultist – upcoming

healing – upcoming

get back up again (and again) – upcoming

cults and systemic oppression – upcoming

when i have finished all these blog posts, i will be compiling them, and redrafting them into a zine, and i will be organzing an educational event on ritual abuse/zine launch/blog relaunch.

by then i will also have learned how to use the twitter. i have a twitter account: #stonesandwords, but, honestly, i don’t know what to do with it – but you can twitter me, if you want. 

i will also be working to make the webpage more accessible, with links to other relevant websites, and information, and, you know, MORE BETTER, NEW AND IMPROVED RELAUNCH EXTRA FEATURES FREE!

done and done!

remember that you can also “follow” my blog.  find the “follow” tab on the blog website, and then you can make sure to get all of my blog posts.

love and struggle,

matt cicero


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